Family life in Islam

Family is the cornerstone and the foundation of a society. If and when a family is built on solid and stable foundation, then the society will achieve its benefit. A family is considered a family when it is composed of its integral components and when it is based on duties and responsibilities. Islam has its own duties and principles in the matter of family life. The integral components of a family can be considered as: Husband, Wife, Children, Grandparents, relatives, and many more. All these constitute a family with rules and regulations, as well as duties and responsibilities.

Family can be defined as a group comprising the immediate kindred, bound together by the bond of blood ties or marital relationship. As it is clear that the foundations of family in Islam are blood ties or marital commitments, so adoption, mutual alliance private consent to sexual intimacy, and other do not institute a family in Islamic sense. It is important in Islam that the foundations of the family have to be as firm and natural as to nurture sincere reciprocity and moral gratification. Islam recognizes that there is no more wholesome pattern of sexual intimacy than one in which morality and gratification are joined.

Development of a Family:

Marriage plays a leading role in the development of a family. Islam recognizes the moral virtue and social advantages of marriage. It restricts a man from performing immoral activities. There are a bunch of instructions proposed by The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم in choosing the right spouse. Hence, to look for the righteous and pious girl would be the answer for peace, happiness, and felicity. In this respect, The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

“A woman is married for one of the five reasons: for her wealth, for her reputation, for her beauty or for her piety. Win the one with piety, so as to be blessed”.

As far as marriage is concerned, Islam encourages people to get married as soon as possible if all conditions are fulfilled. When a person gets married, he has fulfilled half the part of the religion. It is a part of the Sunnah The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم. This means that when a person gets married, he will be rewarded more. The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم  said:

“Whoever likes my way is to follow it, and one of my ways is to get married”.

Marriage is part of worship and whoever gets married will be rewarded by performing his duties within the matrimonial life.

Narrated by Aboo zarr(رضي الله عنه ) that The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم  said:

“…… you will be rewarded even for your sexual relation with your wife”. Then a companion asked, “O messenger of Allah!, if anyone of us get sexual he would be rewarded?”. The prophet(s) said: “If he uses it in unlawful ways, would he not be punished? Therefore, if he uses it in lawful ways, he would be rewarded”.

                                                              (Reported by Muslim)

Thus, we can understand that Islam encourages marriage and denounces celibacy.

Husband-wife relationship:

The relation of the two spouses in Islam is that of:

a) Compassion,

b) Mercy,

c) Leadership with the responsibility imposed upon the husband,

d) Consultation.

The first two characteristics, i.e. Compassion and mercy are explained in the Quraan in surah Al-Ruum:

      وَمِنۡ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦۤ أَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٲجً۬ا لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَڪُم مَّوَدَّةً۬ وَرَحۡمَةً‌ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٲلِكَ لَأَيَـٰتٍ۬ لِّقَوۡمٍ۬ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

“…….And among his signs is this that he created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them and he has put love and mercy between your hearts, truly in that are signs for those who reflect”. (30:21)

As far as leadership is concerned, Allah has made it clear. This type of leadership is nothing more than the responsibility that the husband should assume. In this respect, Allah says in surah Al-Nisaa the following:

      ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٲمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلَىٰ بَعۡض

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because God has given the one more (strength) than the other”.

As far as consultation, Allah has demanded that, without consultation there will not be a happy house and a happy family. He said in the Quraan, in surah Al –Shura, the following:

وَٱلَّذِينَ ٱسۡتَجَابُواْ لِرَبِّہِمۡ وَأَقَامُواْ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَأَمۡرُهُمۡ شُورَىٰ بَيۡنَہُمۡ وَمِمَّا رَزَقۡنَـٰهُمۡ يُنفِقُونَ

“…..and who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation….” (42:38)

Parent-child relationships:

       In order to have a good relationship between parents and children, one has to build up a bridge of training, discipline, love, sympathy, concern, affection and mutual understanding.

Children should be raised properly according to the teachings of Islam. The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم

مروا أولادكم بالصلاة وهم أبناء سبع سنين. واضربوهم عليها, وهم أبناء عشر. وفرقوا بينهم في المضاجع. رواه أبو داود

              “Order your children to pray while they are seven years old, punish them if they negate prayer when they are ten year old and separate them in their sleeping place”.

Children should be raised properly according to the teachings of Islam, so that they will be a source of protection for their parents. Almighty Allah says in this regard:

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَهۡلِيكُمۡ نَارً۬ا  (سورة التحريم)

“Oh you believe! Save yourself and your families from the hell”.

Children are to respect and honor their parents at all times, whether they are alive or dead, or whether they are young, old or senile. The teachings of Islam demand from the Muslims to honor their parents and to be kind to them.

Allah says in Surah Al –Isra:

      وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوٓاْ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلۡوَٲلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَـٰنًا‌ۚ إِمَّا يَبۡلُغ عِندَكَ ٱلۡڪِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوۡ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ۬ وَلَا تَنۡہَرۡهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوۡلاً۬ ڪَرِيم  (سورة الإسراء)

“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor”.

Thus the family bond entails mutual expectations of rights and obligations that are prescribed by religion, enforced by law and observed by the family members. Accordingly, the family members share certain mutual commitments. These pertain to identity and provision, inheritance and counsel, affection for the young and security for the aged, and maximization of effort to ensure the family continuity in peace.